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Tragedy at Grenfell 

 I didn’t want this to be just another pissed off post on the internet, I wanted to use it for something. So given that, below is a link to a petition I hope you’ll sign, it calls for a change in the laws surrounding fire safety measures in high rise buildings. Let’s not let something like this happen again. 

Change.org-Petition to increase fire safety regulations in all high rise buildings.  

I am horrified. 

I have spent the last week and a half with my eyes glued to the news. And frankly, every day I am more disgusted. I’m not talking politics ( though that’s a shit show too) I’m talking the Grenfell Tower fire. 

I am sickened. 79 people have lost their lives. 79 innocent people. But this was no terrorist attack, it was no war, it was an ‘oversight’. How can you call 79 people losing their lives an oversight?! No this is a fuck up of epic proportions. 

The reason I have been glued to this, is because I fully understand the effects of fire. I lost a family member to a house fire 15 years ago. It was devastating to my entire family. That was an accident, yet everyone wanted to blame someone or blame themselves. I watched my own family blaming themselves for something they could not have controlled, and I have watched them grieve every single year after her death. 

I cannot imagine the pain the survivors and the families of the dead must feel. The anger, that this could have been prevented and that there is someone to blame here. Someone made the decision to put that cladding on the building. Someone made the decision to save themselves some money by putting the cheaper, not fire retardant stuff up. Someone has to take responsibility for 79 deaths.

Earlier today I saw a report about a block in Camden, that has similar cladding to that of Grenfell, and that it was not what was commissioned. The contractors had just put a different product on there. Why? If they were paid for cladding that was fire resistant, and then a cheaper version has been put on there, where has the money gone? Is this how deep corruption runs within our country? That people’s lives are worth the money you saved?

There are 600 towers being tested. What happens if there’s another fire before they’re finished testing? Will there be more lives lost? Where is the money coming from to carry out these tests? From the NHS? From cut benefits or social care? From the contracting companies who were supposed to put the right stuff up in the first place? 

And what about the fire service? They did an amazing job that day, and continue to do so. Having to go back into that tower block every day with the stench of smoke and death to bring put people’s loved ones. I choked up when I saw that firefighters attended the minutes silence on Monday, and that they had been seen crying and hugging survivors and apologising to family members for not being able to save everyone. 

This is a problem. This is what makes me really disgusted. These men and women risked their own lives that day to attempt to save as many as they could, and yet, council members, MPs’, company owners and prime ministers are hiding in the shadows hoping the spotlight doesn’t fall on them! 

These firefighters stood in front of angry, distraught families and apologised for not being able to save someone they loved, and for them to carry that burden is not okay. 

Do we get any apology or admittance for cuts in the fire service? Nope. Are there any extra regulations in place so that it can make the job any easier? Nope. No sprinklers, no extra fire escapes. Not even the proper smoke alarms in place. This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

And for those people who have survived, what do they get? 5 grand. A measly 5 grand to restart their life. Sorry, don’t know about you but it would take a shit ton more than 5 grand to furnish a home, buy new clothes for my family, and maybe take us for a pizza after cause our house fucking burned down. These arent exactly people who had masses of life savings or house insurance. And again I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d rather them stick a fiver on everyones tax next month and make sure these people get a decent pay out for what they’ve had to go through, or are they reserving that for when the enquiry finishes and the govt has to pay out even more in damages to the victims and survivors? 

I know, there’s an enquiry being called. And yeah Mrs May has said everyone will be held accountable, but will anything really change? They’ll take the decorative cladding off the buildings, but will they enforce regulations that mean all tower blocks must have sprinkler systems installed? And at least 2 fire escape routes? And the proper fire alarm systems in place? Probably not. 

The people who are accountable will make a public apology, pledge a little money, thank the fire service and nhs for doing their jobs and be on their way. They won’t serve any jail time. They won’t carry the weight of 79 dead souls on their back for the rest of their days. No, they’ll go back to sipping champagne on a yacht off the coast of Monaco. 

So it is sickening, disgusting, outrageous. Why does it always take a tragedy to call for action? Why has it taken 79 people losing their lives to mean these people are listened to? 

I know this is quite a rant-y post. But tragedies like this will continue to happen if we don’t change our laws and regulations. Please sign the petition if you haven’t already and help to change things for the better. 

Change.org-Petition to increase fire safety regulations in all high rise buildings

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Please stop worsening my mum guilt.


Mum guilt. It’s real. It’s horrible. 
I get accused all the time of being too attached to my son. Of not leaving him alone with other people more often. He has been properly without me twice in his 10 month life. Once when his daddy took him out, he was around 3 months old and they were gone for maybe an hour? And then a second time on mothers day, when his daddy took me out and left him with his grandma.

But there’s something that people don’t see. It’s not because I don’t want him to be with anyone but me. In fact, I’d actually love to have a few hours to myself for once, and let’s not lie, I’m only going to be doing housework or sleeping, but still. But it’s because I get this overwhelming guilt.

It became really apparent to me today that this is (one of many) reasons that I don’t ask people to babysit more often. Let me enlighten you to my thought process.

Today, my SO got given a day off work. He was pretty much out of the door when his boss text him and told him to take today off as he worked Sunday. Brilliant! It gets to around noon, I’ve done breakfast for all three of us, we’ve played and then he’s had a nap (albeit on me because he decided he was having a breastfed nap today, thanks heatwave), I take him back downstairs to his daddy and say “right, I’m gonna go shower”

Now I understand that a 15 minute shower and under the care of daddy does not class as babysitting, but what it does count as , is time to myself. Proper uninterrupted alone showering time.

That is until the guilt hits. Until i suddenly think i can hear him screaming because i left the room and he hasn’t seen me in 3.5 seconds. And then i rush, because oh god it’s not fair on daddy to have him screaming at him like that just because I’m not there.

It’s like, I feel that because I made him and gave birth to him, it’s my job to look after him. Everyone else can obviously have their cuddles and playtime, but when he starts to fuss I feel like that fussing becomes a burden to anyone else. Like they’ll be judging me if I don’t step in sooner. Like secretly they’re thinking “Come on, step up this is your bit, I’ve had the nice bit and he’s done and so am i”

It stems a little from people actually giving him straight back to me as soon as he squeaked when he was smaller. No one ever tried to soothe him, they just assumed he wanted me because he wanted the boob. I’d comply because it would get him to settle quickly, even if I knew he wasn’t hungry or tired, so he’s never been used to anyone other than me settling him. It’s not surprising that I worry he will cry till he wears himself out if I’m gone too long.

It is ridiculous. And I fully understand that. But if I feel that guilt when R is with his daddy for 15 minutes, how on earth will I feel if I leave him with someone else for 3 hours? The guilt will be unbearable.

I know it is something that I have to deal with, and I will, because once I can force my way through that dark cloud of guilt, I know that my baby is in safe hands, and that even if he screams a bit because I’m not there, I will go back to him, and he’ll understand that mummy comes back. And aside from all those things, the two times he has been without me, he was absolutely fine.

So just a word of advice to all the families and friends with new mum’s and new babies in their lives, if you ever find yourself thinking that a mum has gotten too attached to her baby (not that it is a problem frankly, but that is a whole other issue) but just stop and think for a second, that she might just have a serious case of mum guilt, and you telling her that she is too attached but not doing anything to help remedy it, is not helping her at all, all it’s doing is making her think she’s a bad mum.

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7 Essential Tips for Flying with Baby


My son was 9 months old when we took him for the first time on a 10.5 hour flight. This is based on my own experiences, and of course, not everything works for every baby, every time. 

Feed on take off and landing. 

I’ve seen conflicting advice on this one. Most things you read or get told will advise you to feed your baby during take off and landing. Whether that breast, bottle or snacks doesn’t really matter, the point is that they’re chewing or swallowing helps to release the air pressure in their ears.  

I chose to take the advice because I didn’t want to risk it and have a screaming child. However, on our flight we had a stop where we didn’t leave the plane, R was asleep during both landing and taking off again on the way home and didn’t seem to mind at all. 

Don’t take masses of toys on the plane

Learn from my mistake here. I was terrified he would get bored on a 10+ hour flight. So I packed a bunch of things in the carry on and took this giant duffel bag full of things that were not nessecary. 

He spent 10+ hours either eating, sleeping, playing with the duty free magazines or chewing a wooden worm we bought in a service station on the way to the airport. 

Pretty much all the toys went in the suitcase on the way back, and the giant duffel bag. 

Book the bulkhead seats if you can. 

Most airlines will allow you to do this for free if you have booked your child as an “Infant on Lap”, so they don’t have their own seats. 

The bulkhead seats have a little more leg room and the option to have a bassinet (again, most airlines) But it is worth checking this before you book. Bassinets are also subject to availability and you cannot use them for take off, landing or during turbulence. (Yes they will ask you to remove your baby even if he/she is asleep) 

You can take as much baby food, milk or formula on the flight as you need to. 

It doesn’t come under the restrictions for liquids, however they do state a “Reasonable amount” for your flight length.  

Some security agents may ask you to test the food by tasting it, or pull you to one side so they can put it in a machine to test it. 

 Pouch food is fine on British Airways (I checked before flying) as long as the seal isn’t broken, but worth checking with other airlines as most seem to state glass jars when talking about food. 

It is worth putting it in separate clear bags, the TSA agents actually thanked me for doing this as most people leave it in the baby bag until they get questioned about it after their bag has been through the x-ray. 

Try to keep within routine as much as possible, especially for long haul flights.

Lots of advice I read said to book night flights, because your baby will sleep through it, which is great, as long as your baby is one of the few that actually sleeps through the night. 

Really, just stick with routine as much as you can. This wasn’t terribly hard for us on the way out, and our flight leaving and landing times actually worked out quite well to coincide with nap times. 

Just try your best to stick with it. 

Take extra blankets

I took 3 of his blankets on the plane with us. Now I know a plane isn’t arctic temperatures, but spares, ya know?! 

Also, when he didn’t mess any of them, he had one nice blanket to keep him warm in the bassinet, I then had the other 2, one to keep me warm (plane blankets are horrible) and one as a pillow (plane pillows are also terrible!) 

Pay no mind to people who want to judge you for taking your baby on a plane

So on both our outbound and inbound flight, we had some arse who wanted to make a point of us taking our baby on a plane. 

Now, for babies on their first flight, mine was an actual angel. Like the sun shone from him that day. It was the best behaved he’s ever been. Nothing phased him. He didn’t cry a single time, not even a whimper. 

But some utter arse, decided that when my sweet little angel child was playing on the floor with previously mentioned worm, and saying “DA DA DA DA” he wanted to tell him to Shut up. Me and my partner almost flipped out. 

Muttering something about how people with Kids should “Just stay home” made me want to beat his pretentious ass. But instead i just gently reminded him that maybe he should charter his own flight if it’s that important to him, but that given he’s sat in economy like the rest of us, he should stop pretending that he’s any better than us “common as muck” who want to take their kids to see family on the other side of the world, and stick his headphones in and enjoy the in flight entertainment. 

Pay no mind to these people. They are mindless idiots who think they’re better than everyone. If you want to do that viral thing where you hand out little packages before you fly, go for it. But I’m not going to apologise for taking my kid on holiday, and no one should feel like they have to. 

Babies cry, they shout, they bang their toys on things, but they are babies. Cut them some slack. 

My last bit of advice on this post is to simply not do yourself in worrying about the flight. It will be fine no matter what, if you have to spend the time walking the aisles it’s a shitty experience, yes, but it’s not the end of the world, and soon enough you’ll be at your destination. And the less stressed you are, the less stressed your baby will be. 
Got any other tips? Leave them in the comments! 

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Why I have a Love/Hate Relationship with Kids TV. 

Lets dive right into the nitty gritty here.

I love Sesame street, it’s educational, it’s good for baby development with speech, sounds, colours, letters, words, the list goes on. It’s cute, they sing and dance, little spin off side shows. It’s pretty great.

My son loves it too. He stops whatever he is doing if I put it on, even if it’s just to watch the theme music, but he stops. It calms him down. And like I said, it’s super educational, even for a 10 month old.

And before anyone gets at me on their high horse, no I don’t use television as a babysitter, but I do sure as hell think it’s better for that to be on in the background than the deal with the crap they put on regular channels during the daytime. He also doesn’t watch past 5pm.

There’s one particular set that my son enjoys. We watch it on YouTube because sesame street isn’t aired on a constant loop so, ya know, needs must.

In it’s essence, this is wonderful, technology is wonderful in that I can find on YouTube, the same episodes that I watched as a kid. I recognise them! I find myself staring at the television realising that I remember this episode, not to the time or how old I was but I know what happens in the story of the show that day.

However, there are certain things seasoned parents don’t tell anyone about parenthood and this is one of them: You will love and hate children’s tv at the same time.

I love that my son loves sesame street, I love that it teaches him, I love the smile on his face when it comes on that is true, genuine happiness. I hate Elmo’s song. I hate how many times a day it finds its way onto the playlist. I hate that I know every word and that i actually sing it in my dreams.

I do however have to admit that I love the side shows. The spin off Star Wars “Star Smores” from “Crumby Productions”, “The Aveggies: Age of Bon Bon” was a particularly good one. And they can only really be made to keep adults sane right? (I cracked up when “The Hungry Games” started playing)
Image copyright of Sesame Street

It’s a difficult position to be in, to choose between your own sanity or a child’s happiness. Really it’s no choice at all, when you think about it. And I’m not even talking like “Oh I put my child’s happiness over everything else” which I do, but I’m talking that, he’s doing my head in right this minute and I need to pee or make a tea without him scratching at my legs and whining, so sesame street will shut him up for a second, and maybe I’ll be able to think.

I also hate how invested I get in the storylines of kids tv, cause trust me, it ain’t just Sesame Street. I know I’m not the only one to say how i find myself still watching Paw Patrol even after R is either disinterested or asleep.

Sometimes I don’t hate it at all. Watching Disney movies all day instead of getting angry at the way the news is being reported is not something I mind doing at all.

I’m sure that many seasoned parents will laugh along to my first time experience of this, remembering back to how they felt when they made the sweet realisation that they probably will never catch themselves with a chart hit in their head again, but always the theme tune to Peppa Pig or Elmos song.

So I’m putting it out there in the atmosphere in a one of many posts I may write catagorized “Things other parents never told me about parenting before I became a parent myself” for any parents to be, or parents who haven’t gotten here yet, or even parents who thought they were the only ones singing kiddie songs in their sleep, children’s tv is very much a love-hate relationship.

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Father’s Day is a weird holiday.

It’s filled with images of men who only like sheds, or football, or beer, and they’re all 40-50 somethings who are balding and have a big beer belly. What about the rest of the dad’s who aren’t like that? 

What about the dad’s who like shopping, or tennis and don’t drink? What about the young dads, the fit dads, the full head of hair dads? 

It’s especially difficult when you’re the mum of a child who’s dad doesn’t fit into  the commercial dad bracket. What do I get him? Anything? It’s doesn’t feel like there’s anything really around. There’s all the cliche ‘#1 daddy’ mugs or keyrings or photo frames, but all those things just get put in a cupboard, only to be seen again when moving house and then thrown away. 

And getting nothing feels like I don’t care. 

People suggested to me to cook him dinner, well I do that every day. Let him sleep in and you take the baby, again happens all the time. 

Nothing seemed right. So I feel a bit crap today really. I got a card, and got R to hold the pen while I squiggled his name. Then met him in town and bought him a beer, but now it’s just a regular day. There hasn’t been anything special about today for him, and I feel like a let down. Like I should have done something better. Made more of an effort for him, but I don’t know how. 

If anyone has any suggestions, I’d love to hear them. I’ll keep them in mind for next year! 

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Today, You’re driving me nuts.

I hate that. I hate that feeling that my own child is driving me crazy. I hate that I have probably shouted at you today when I shouldn’t have. I hate that it’s me who made you cry. 

It should never be me that makes you cry. You’re too precious. You’re too perfect. 

But today, you spent the day climbing my legs. It didn’t matter whether I was sitting or standing, playing with you or doing the dishes, you spent every waking second climbing up my legs. You were only content when you were being held. If I put you down, you cried almost instantly, no matter what. 

I’m sure other mums would understand. Even just other people would understand, that if an 18 pound lump insists on sitting on your hip all day that it would get annoying. And it did. And I put you down, with good intentions, for you to play, and to teach you that you don’t need to be attached to me at all times. But you weren’t having any of it. 

In the end I had to let you cry. I had to clean the kitchen. I had to hoover the floor. I had to drink a glass of water without your fingers in it. It took 10 minutes. 10 straight, long minutes of you crying, but I knew if I stopped and consoled you, it would be worse when I put you down again. 

You haven’t ever cried for that long. I don’t like it. I don’t believe in all the ‘Cry it out’ stuff. It works for some I’m sure, but I can’t do it. So today was tough. 

I held you tight once I’d finished doing everything. I whispered in your ear how much I love you, but how I have to be able to put you down. I hope you understood. I hope I don’t have to do it again. I need you to have understood, I go back to work in a month, and it’s not fair to anyone if you cry your heart out when I’m not there. 

Even as I write this, I don’t feel de-stressed. You’re quiet, not climbing, just breastfeeding to sleep for the night. But I’m still pent up. I haven’t even taken a pee alone today. 

So as much as I love you, I’m wishing you to sleep tonight, because I need to be able to pee alone at least once today, and then tomorrow we can do it all again. 

Free stock image from Unsplash.com

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My Very First Blog Post

Hello, welcome, I hope you’re well. This is my very first ever blog post. I’ve never done this before so I’m kinda winging it, please don’t judge too soon.

Welcome to my world. It’s wonderful, exciting, funny, happy and also ordinary, boring, serious and sad. Here you’ll find my musings about myself (L), my partner (T), my son (R) and our life together.

For the time being I’m choosing to stay relatively anonymous in my postings, I’m not a hugely public person anyway, and so writing my life and feelings down for the world to see and know it’s me is just a little too daunting for me. Im deathly afraid of judgement and what people think of me. And I know I’m not anything close Gossip Girl but maybe one day I’ll choose to reveal who I am, it probably won’t be as long away as I think it will. 

I’m hoping this blog will help me to organise my thoughts, and help me make sense of them. I have always found that writing helps me to figure things out, but I never find myself giving up the time to actually sit and hand write in a journal, but thanks to the wonder of technology, here I can sit and type away whenever I have a free 5 minutes. 

So please join me on my journey through life and motherhood. Laugh, sing and cry with me and who knows, we might just get through this together.

XoXo L

(Sorry, Gossip Girl is in my head today!)

Stock image from Pexels.com